The parts that made me bristle were where he contradicted himself:
Respect, once married, is not an unrealistic expectation for a man or a woman, and Matt's example of a bitter woman in the beginning of the blog made me cringe. But there was one particular paragraph towards the end of the piece that I found confusing. At one point he says, "They both swirl in circles around the drain. He fails, so she gives him no respect, and then he continues to fail because he feels disrespected, and she continues to give him no respect because he continues to fail. And so and so on and so on all the way to the divorce attorney." So am I to understand that it's okay for a man to behave how he wants because he isn't getting respect? What happened to his point earlier in the blog where he said, "you don't marry someone in order to give them what they deserve. In marriage, you give them what you've promised them, even when they aren't holding up their end of the bargain." Shouldn't the man act out of love even when he doesn't feel respected? To me, this whole "Oooh my wife doesn't respect me so I'm not even going to try anymore," is similar to the "well if the girl aint going to respect herself, I'm not going to respect her!" argument men give in relation to treating lady's like lady's only if they respect themselves. Other than that, men are off the hook. And for the record, here I would like to ad that there have been plenty of times I have respected myself to men but wasn't respected in return.
Then, and this is my favorite part, he gives an example of how men turned to porn because their wives had been disrespecting them. Again, so two wrongs equal a right here?! I'm not encouraging wives to be disrespectful but I don't think it's okay to watch porn because your wife isn't giving you what you need. I just can't get on board with someone's watching porn because their wife failed to respect him. Just because they were "explaining" and not "excusing" their actions, doesn't mean it was okay. They still chose poorly in how they handled not being respected. Christian men should be going to God and the men around them they trust to get what they need/to get advice, not porn. I understand Matt's point that women's lack of respect for their husbands affect men, but that is never license for a pattern of sin to take hold. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart mind soul and strength." If all of us do that we will "need" a lot less from our spouse, friends, and family.
Overall, I get his point, but because of these parts of the blog I was frustrated and reminded of why, I am so very thankful to be single and don't have to worry about my husband becoming a porn addict because I failed to respect him. This blog needed to be written; I know there are plenty of women who are horrible to their husbands and need to adjust their attitude. But when you're used to seeing women bending over backwards for men or sweet wives being taken advantage of by men who don't understand what Ephesians 5 actually means, it gets a little old hearing about "respect" and what men are entitled to. This is a hard topic, and it's the people who are on the far end of the spectrum who need to hear this while the rest of us just need a reminder as to what could very easily be us someday if we don't make good choices now.
All this being said, the older I get the more thankful I feel to be single and the more I want to STAY single!