2, What if a woman isn't mysterious? Like me for example. I don't feel mysterious. I'm a very self-aware person, I don't need to be drawn out or figured out, God gave me the ability to do that myself. This doesn't mean I don't have anything to offer or that I'm not an interesting person. It also doesn't mean a man wouldn't find me interesting or worth knowing. I simply want a clear explanation as to what the heck this means. I texted a lot of guys I know to ask their opinion on the matter and the responses were not what I expected. Especially because several of my friends thought a guy had actually told me I wasn't mysterious. :)
The first guy to respond via text was my brother. He said he had no idea what it meant when a guy said he wanted mystery and said he didn't think any guy would actually ever say this to a girl. He even insisted that guys don't say they want mystery. My friend Todd replied next and said that it sounded like the guy who said it watches too much T.V. He said he thinks it's women who want mystery. My friend Jeremy called me after receiving the text and said he had no clue what a guy would mean when he said he wanted mystery, but he knows he doesn't want it for himself. I think at this point mystery to these guys was the equality of confusing. Which is exactly what my point has been every time I hear this. Why would a guy want mystery since most complain that women are confusing and they just want to know what we want already? My friend Connor responded how I expected all the guys would. He said he assumed the guy's who say this like to be surprised and that a woman doesn't lay out "all her cards at once." My favorite though was from a guy I know who said, "bunch of bull****, the dude aint worth talking to."
My cousin Bryan said it's a blanket statement and it usually means they like adventurous and spontaneous behavior but that most say it "just to say it." Lastly, my friend and college pastor, Danny Pace, whom I trust the most of a man's opinion (no offense everyone else your feedback was indeed helpful). Danny said he supposed it means that men like women to be reserved and leave things to be explored, whether that means not putting herself completely out there or leaving things unsaid.
Ultimately I believe that mystery, just like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Besides, just because I don't see myself as mysterious doesn't mean men won't want to know what drives me or why I am the way I am just because I don't see myself as mysterious. Also, I think mystery is desired by men in the beginning, after awhile though, if they're truly after a healthy open and honest relationship, mystery is less of a necessity. So maybe I need to look at mystery as an initial desire and not an overall quality that men want.
Whatever "mystery" means I've decided I'm not worried about it. The "ideal" guy may not exist but I believe strongly in the "realistic" guy, and if God allows it, I'll be with such a man someday. It's nice realizing that I don't have to worry about being in a relationship anymore. God has taught me too much in the last several years to be sad at what I don't have. He's teaching me to live my life where I'm at instead of where I want to be. Besides I've seen first hand what happens when someone acts where they want to be rather than where they actually are and I got a little bit burned. But honestly, I'm not in the mood to feel badly about myself anymore or to be upset at anyone whose ever "done me wrong." I keep coming back to what the Holy Spirit reminded me of a few years ago: God is not a consolation prize. He's the Ultimate prize, as well as everything that comes along with Him: peace, confidence, and never ever a broken heart.
I remain hopeful in spite of the evidence that suggests otherwise. Here's some lyrics by Colbie Caillat I always find full of positivity:
I'm still feelin' the rain fall, bouncin' off my skin
How long do I have to wait for the sun to shine again?
Come on, paint me a rainbow so I can follow it
I don't know where it'll take me but I like wonderin'
Whoever you are, where will you be?
Are you the same old dreamer out there waiting only for me?
Waitin' for love, waitin' for the same old dreamer on the others side
Hopin' that no matter how far I'm gonna find my way to you
Followin' a rainbow
I'm gonna stop in the middle, hang my feet off the edge
I got no reason to worry I know I'll find the end
that's where you'll be waitin, I hope you don't forget
That I won't quit till I find you no matter the risk
Stuck in my mind, I'm wastin time still on my own
I never thought that I would find my way into the light
Dreamin' to find:
Whoever you are, where will you be?
Are you the same old dreamer on the other side waiting for me?
Waitin' for love, waitin' for the same old dreamer on the other side
hopin' that no matter how far I'm gonna find my way to you
Followin' a rainbow......