I turned 34 this morning (the older I get I'm torn between not really caring and demanding I be my age until the clock strikes 9:30 am every August 4th). I have a lot of amazing things coming up over this next year so 34 doesn't bother me. Neither does being single. I know my value as a person isn't determined by another person loving me, I know that most men in my life have been tragic disappointments and I've learned the hard way that it's better to be single with moments of loneliness than to be married and have every moment filled with loneliness. I know that if I want a great relationship then that means embracing myself, not censoring myself or changing myself to be who I think the man I'm interested wants. Being myself means I don't want to do dating apps - this isn't because I don't think they work, I know they do, but they don't work for me. Ever. And I am the only one qualified to decide that by the way.
I looked up some dating statistics through E-harmony's site and it essentially answered some vital factors of the process: 1. More men use dating sites than women. You would think this means women would have the pick of the litter, but what this really means is that women have to look through more frogs, hoping one will be a prince. SPOILER ALERT: For me, they are all frogs.
2. *Female Users aren't just looking for hook-ups; In the words of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Does the word 'Duh' mean anything to you?" (*e-harmony did not provide any statistics on how many men are on dating sites for hook-ups...moving on). 3. 20% of current, committed relationships began online. 7% of marriages in 2015 were between couples that met on a dating site....here is where I feel some vindication as to why I have not met or married anyone online, 7% is not that much. Heck, 20% is not that much! My wasted hours of swiping, clicking, liking and "poking" are now explained! 4. (and last) 48% of online relationships end through email. EMAIL. E-harmony says this is for those who are socially awkward and fear confrontation. Way to sell your site e-harmony. "Come here, where you can meet people but they're all socially awkward or fear confrontation so they can't be in a functional relationship."
I should also mention that at the beginning of their statistics page they point out that if you're single you spend your time crying over all your friends Facebook pages where apparently there are only photos of couples, their babies and fabulous homes that you don't have, and if you have any hope whatsoever of ever having any of those things, you need to be online dating pronto (and preferably with e-harmony, America's number one dating site!).
So today I may be sitting in a library for free air conditioning and internet, but at least I'm not one of the 48% of people being broken up with over email from some guy who just wanted to hook-up (yes, I know my math is off here. Whatever). So when I'm at a wedding of someone who met their spouse through an online site I can know that they're only in the 7%. Now excuse me while I go and enjoy some Mexican pastry, watch some tv and go to improv later with one of my best friends. I may not have a boyfriend or a baby or own a home but I think we all know there's more to life than our current circumstances. There is a time for everything and every day is my time, no matter what my relationship status on Facebook says.