I've really been struggling financially lately. I get paid $9.50 an hour and roughly get 19 hours a week. I haven't been able to pay all of my bills and it's only a matter of time before the threatening letters start coming in. How can we be expected to give what we don't have? It's not exactly a mystery that the economy is bad and a B.A. gets you nowhere.
As I cried for what is certainly the hundredth time over my financial struggles, I feel discouraged. I feel fearful. Who in their right mind willingly becomes a missionary? Talk about putting yourself at the mercy of the Lord and His people! I often find myself wondering how this is all going to work out. I've had people make discouraging remarks about my decision to serve the Lord in this way, it makes me wonder what I've done to make people think I can't do this... but the truth is I can't. I want to run from this and pursue a job that brings in the bacon, where my pride won't be hurt by my inability to care for myself.
This world is harsh. Brothers and sisters in the faith discourage one another from trusting the Lord, they think I'm crazy for putting myself aside and serving the Lord and it makes me wonder: who on earth is going to support me with this attitude?
My faith is destroyed by current "realities" and truth feels like a fantasy. But at the end of the day, no matter what anyone says, no matter how I feel, the Word has the final say, and I'm working on trusting in the Word for my daily dose of reality.
To my fear, God says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Paul encourages us to not be anxious about anything and to go to the Lord in prayer but with Thanksgiving and peace will follow. How beautiful and wonderful, Holy Spirit work in my heart to trust you in all things and to not be anxious about anything.
To my inability to be who God wants me to be, the Word says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
To my financial struggles the Word says, "Man does not live on bread alone..." and "whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
To my doubt and the doubters, the Word says, "With God all things are possible."
All of my insecurities and doubts are not of God, for "he has not given us a spirit of fear." They are from the enemy who would have me believe any discouraging words from the world.
But Jesus said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..." and "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."